“I really had no other choice”

by Lorinda Turley



Sunday morning dawned a crisp, blue sky with a covered, white landscape as its clean backdrop.  The days prior were blanketed in hues of gray as the storm pummeled our area and canceled our lives in its wake.

In Sundays’ clearness I too found sight. C shared with me a newspaper article from China Daily USA titled Adoptive mother locates Chinese parents.

As an adoptive mother of Chinese children this title wrenched my heart.  In my mind locating our children’s biological parents is impossible as they both were abandoned.  Yet this mother did it~is it truly more of a reality than I imagined?

The article shared that her two-year-old deaf son was recently diagnosed with an incurable genetic disorder that would rob him of his sight.  She thought it important that he “see” his biological parents one last time and began her public campaign in Ningbo, Zhejiang.

Her campaign proved successful as it reached the ears of the director of the local hospital who searched their records and found a case similar to the boy’s that provided a working phone number to his biological father.

When she and her son arrived in China and met his biological mother, a migrant worker in her 30s, she immediately broke into tears.  She repeatedly said “I really had no other choice.”

I visited Beijing, China in March 2008 with C.  This is a country and culture he knows well as he lived in Taiwan for two years, speaks Mandarin and now his career focuses on business relationships between the US and China.  While there he shared with me the gorgeous architectures of the Forbidden City, the Summer Palace and the Great Wall.  But he too was able to bring me into villages and less preened areas explaining that many Chinese greet one another with “have you eaten today?”  Their average annual income being $1,000 USD.

This is to illustrate when I read “I really had no other choice” from the migrant worker mother with a monthly family income of $152 and three other children to feed I too broke into tears because I have witnessed its reality.

The father was the one who took their son and left him at a gate of a more luxurious residential area.  There he watched from afar to ensure his son was found by the guard and taken to the police.  I believe the mother would have never found the strength to complete such a task.

I too have thought of the plight of our children’s biological mothers, how wrenching it would be for them as they too must have said “I really had no other choice”.

I love your child, am privileged to be their mother and if ever I may find you we can share in the goodness of their magnificent lives.